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Transformers 3 review

Chris Tanski, pop culture contributor

While I grew up I watching He-man, GI Joe and Transformers, I was never that into these properties. I do own toys from them but whereas I display my Star Wars toys proudly, my He-Man, GI Joe and Transformers toys sit in my basement in plastic bags ready to be put on eBay someday. That being said  I am forever and always will be a Star Wars guy. That was my toy of choice. So when it came time to movie-ize the Transformers properties I was excited for the possibilities but not geeking out about it. When the first movie came out the contingent of friends who I saw it with hated the movie. Cool action, but the humor and comic relief was so ridiculous that we just couldn’t get into it. When asked why I hated part one I summed it up by saying “A robot ‘peed’ on somebody”. Plus, as a father I was appalled at how something so aggressively marketed towards children was so blatantly inappropriate in language and sexual tone.  I get it! It was a PG-13 movie with PG-13 things in it. Nonetheless it irked me and it in turn led to my bias against it. Especially when I saw fathers bringing their 10 and unders to the movie (I manage a movie theater). Part 2 came out 2 years later and it was even worse than part one. This time I wasn’t alone in my vitriol. Critics and fans also bashed it and it ended up getting the Golden Raspberry Award for worst film that year. It is now 2 more years later and part 3 has hit the scene. Now in 3-D! I will say that the 3rd entry in the series is by far the best one.
Positives –
  • the 3-D is probably the best use of the gimmick since Avatar. As of late any movie that has been released in 3-D, those particular houses showing them have underperformed. People are quickly tiring of it. This one is totally worth the extra bucks to see it. 
  • the special effects are probably the best I have ever seen. If this doesn’t win the Oscar I will be shocked.
  • The action set pieces are breath taking. That scene of the building being cut in half by a worm saw robot is the highlight.
  • the first 10-15 minutes are so awesome. I love how movies are taking real history and incorporating sci-fi or horror mythos into them (ala X-Men :First Class)
  • Alan Tudyk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Holy Running Time Batman! With trailers the movie is almost 3 hours long. Yikes! There were so many stupid moments and story arcs that could have been cut. It would have made for tighter less ridiculous film.
  • Once again the stupid comic relief and humor rears its ugly head. Nothing near the ineptitude of the first 2 but they are still there.
  • The human characters were a little bit better in this one but still poorly written.
  • Normally I love Shia. There was just something off with his character in this movie. And it didn’t work with me.
  • I love Ken Jeong. Please take a little break. It seems you cameo in every movie these days and your role cameo in Transformers 3 is pure garbage.
  • Ugh! The ending. With this being the last of the Michael Bay trilogy I needed a more satisfying ending.
For all the pros and cons I can very much say I was entertained by the movie. It was a never-ending assault of the senses, check your brain at the door blockbuster summer film. I was never bored (unlike my buddy who fell asleep many times and thought the film was brutally bad) and the last 40 minutes are just pure action delight. Pony up the dough and see it in 3-D. It’s more than meets the eye… Ugh! Sorry about that one.  I rate it a 6 out of 10.

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